For excuses, see below

I have not posted for a while but in my defence, things have been a wee bit hectic around here recently.  Lots and lots of stuff is happening, most of it good, some of it less so:

Good Stuff That Has Happened Recently

• We had a wonderful time at the village fair last weekend.  There was a dog show as part of it (Waggiest Tail, Cutest Veteran, Dog that looks most like its owner, that sort of thing) which meant there were lots of dogs about.  Second Born was in heaven as a result and ended up offering an informal dog creche.  Anyone who expressed the view that they would go into the village hall for a cup of tea were it not for their dog found, as if by magic, a small boy at their elbow offering to dog-sit.  He was ecstatic.  The fair organisers are thinking of making it an official service next year.
• On the day after the village fair, the population of the village (or at least the interesting part of the population who could be bothered) turned out for a communal photograph to commemorate the Jubilee.  We all squashed together in front of the village hall and grinned like idiots.  Oh, and lots of people had their dogs with them.  This time, Second Born managed to wangle an invite to someone's house to collect their dogs.
•  After the photo session, the residents of our little row of cottages had an impromptu street party.  It is, after all, our street, and we can close it whenever we like!  We hauled various tables outside, scoured our cupboards for suitable edibles and hung up bunting and union flags scavenged from the village fair.  It was great fun.  There was an inter-cottage egg and spoon race, which metamorphosed into an inter-cottage cherry tomato and spoon, pickled beetroot and spoon and pickled onion and spoon race.  The pickled onion won.  Flatter bottom on a pickled onion, you see.  Better adhesion to the spoon.
• We were awakened at the cottage one morning by a swallow which flew in the gap in the open window looking for likely nesting spots and got confused by the curtains.  This started out as a Bad Thing, but turned out a Good Thing as we managed to catch it and release it completely unharmed, getting a really good close-up look at it in the process.  It seemed entirely unfazed by the experience.
• Our new shower room has been fitted!  Mostly.
• Second Born won a Silver Award in the Scottish Mathematical Challenge (I know, it's like he's not our child) and got to go to a cool awards ceremony to pick up his certificate.  I got to go and watch him and beam proudly.
• We bought a new car on the internet.  (This is what happens when you combine boredom, broadband and a credit card)
• We decided we enjoyed having the garden full of builders' rubble so much that we are going to knock down an internal wall in our house later this year.  Gluttons for punishment.

Not So Good Stuff That Has Happened Recently

• Our plumber succumbed to an attack of gout part way through our shower refit and could not work for over a week.  Meanwhile, the remains of the old shower room sat in our front garden with the grass growing round them.  Grass is now about a foot high and we still have a toilet in front of our living room window.  Neighbours are stopping and staring as they pass our house, clearly wondering when the Clampetts moved in.  
• Plumber's mate did a wee spot of grouting on his own, accidentally dislodged a valve on a radiator before he left and we returned from the Jubilee weekend at 8pm on Sunday evening to find evil black water dripping  through our living room ceiling onto our carpet and furniture.  
• Second Born's Silver Maths Award certificate was on the table under the leak and is pretty much ruined.  He was quite upset.  (I have contacted the organisers to try to get a replacement.)
• We now have to find time to accommodate a decorator to fix the ceiling and a carpet cleaner before Saturday when we have a Taiwanese exchange student coming to stay for a week.  No pressure, then.
• Shower refit is still not finished.  The toilet does not flush (pretty essential function, in my opinion) and the pump for the shower can't be fitted yet because the plumbing for same is not where we thought it was and we are going to have to have a hatch cut in an adjoining wall to access the necessary area.  (Not doing that until after exchange student has left.) 
• The cat is thoroughly enjoying the wilderness of long grass in our back garden caused by the short burst of hot weather followed by a more normal extended period of rain.  This is not a good thing because it makes it easier to stalk small creatures and then bring them in to dismantle them on our kitchen floor.
• I have a cold, kindly donated by First Born who likes to share these things.  This is why I am blogging at 4.30am.  I cannot lie down without my head filling up with gunk. 

Off now to make more tea.