Spotted this morning on the school run, in the window of a first floor flat in South Edinburgh: a large white sign with black lettering reading "Don't phone John today".
Why not? Is this a request or a threat? And who was it intended for? Do John's mates routinely trek round to his house to check on his phoneability status before daring to call him? What does he do if they phone anyway? Hasn't he ever heard of voicemail? Has no-one shown him how to switch his phone off? Or unplug it? I mean if he is hungover or something so that even the sound of the phone ringing is unacceptable, there are other ways of dealing with the situation that don't involved notices in the front window.
Or is it maybe a warning to any telemarketers who happen to be wandering past? Because if that is the intention, someone needs to tell John to put his sign up in India or Milton Keynes or somewhere more likely to host a call centre than the leafy suburbs of south Edinburgh.
I really want to know, dammit.