Another one of those tasks was to get a painter arranged to come and attend to the exterior woodwork on the house - window frames and so on - which is showing signs of wear and tear after a number of Scottish winters. I got in touch with the painter (my neighbour over the road's brother - always use people who come recommended!) and he will be coming shortly to give our wee but n' ben a facelift. Part of the deal is that we supply the materials, which is why the other day I found myself in the unfamiliar surroundings of a paint shop, waiting for the chap behind the counter to come back with my 5 litres of Hickson Decor Exterior Woodstain (Red Cedar).
I don't hang around in paint shops much, being domestically challenged in most areas, including home decorating. I passed the time by gazing absently at a large display showing all the paint colours available in some professional range of paint I have never heard of. And I became more and more puzzled. The colours available were........esoteric. I am sure the last time I was in B&Q, yellow paint was called things like "Sunflower" or "Buttercup" and blue was "Cornflower". None of the paint in this shop was called "Sunflower". They did however have "Apple Smiles". I am guessing green?
However, there was also "Tablecloth". What colour is Tablecloth? If my dining room is anything to go by, that would be a tin full of dark green oilcloth, stained with ketchup and Pritt stick residue. It can't be that, surely. And if Tablecloth is confusing, how about the cheery tones of a tin of "Quench the Gloom"? Does anyone seriously go into a shop and voluntarily buy a couple of litres of "Quench the Gloom"? Hey, maybe it's paint impregnated with Prozac. Feeling down? Lick your skirting boards when no-one is looking!
But none of these shades really did it for me. The colour that I decided I wanted was right there in the middle of the display. In the unlikely event that I ever get round to decorating my house (see unfinished list of tasks above) I want this colour for my living room, purely so that if anyone says "I love the new look - what shade is that?" I can truthfully say "It's Tethered Dog, thank you for asking."
EDITED TO ADD: I'm not making this up, honest!