I present for your delectation number I-don't-know-what in the long running series "I really don't understand how boys' minds work".
Scene: Kitchen, 7.40am. Harassed mother running slightly late due to continuous questions such as "Would you like to hear me recite my poem now?" interfering with her well-practised and streamlined preparation of two packed lunches and two break-time snacks.
Characters: Aforementioned mother and one eight-year old boy, played by SB.
SB: (*wails from the hall*) Mu-u-u-um!
Me: What? (from the kitchen, rather more impatiently than I would like to admit to)
SB: My felt tip pens fell out of the packet and I've picked them up but there's one missing and I can't find it!!!!
Me: Have you looked for it? (Not such a daft question, as anyone who has lived with a male of any age will know)
SB: YES!!!!! I really can't find it Mum!
Me: (*turning round and looking towards the hall. Where it is dark. Very dark - this is Scotland in January. It won't be daylight until closer to 9am*) Are you.........looking for it in the dark?
Me: If you are searching for a pen, would it not be helpful to, I don't know, turn the light on?
SB: (*switches light on. Short pause.*) Found it!!!!!!!
I wish I was making this up.