Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Boys are different. #2

Another morning, another wrangle. This time the.....

"Have you got your waterproof jacket in your schoolbag?"

"It's not raining"

"You live in Scotland. It can rain AT ANY TIME ON ANY DAY. Get your waterproof"......

routine. The culprit this time was Second Born who steadfastly maintained that he did indeed have his waterproof in his bag. Call me cynical but I checked. I did not find his waterproof but I did find a bag of apple slices left over from his lunch. Now, my forensic science skills derive entirely from my voracious reading of Kathy Reichs and Jeffrey Deaver books, but I reckon the lunch from which the apple was left over happened about 3 weeks ago. The bag was full of brown squishiness. I really only knew it was once apple because I recognised the bag.

SB, needless to say, was unfazed by my initial yelp of surprise and the subsequent expressions of disgust from the rest of the family. "I must have forgotten to eat my apple," he shrugged.

Boys. Girls wouldn't do that, would they? And, hypothetically, say if I had girls and I were to climb up on to the top bunk of the bed in the spare bedroom to change the sheets, I probably wouldn't find a plate strewn with crumbs and the dessicated remnants of a piece of ham hard enough to cut wood with, would I? Thought not.

(Note to self: my mum is coming to stay tomorrow and will be sleeping in that bed. Carry out emergency reconnaissance as soon as this post is published.)


  1. Actually, girls would leave food like. Except that it would be a banana and it would be in a lunchbox that no one remembered to empty at the end of the school year. And then two weeks later that girls' family would have fruit flies and not know why.

    Or something like that.

  2. I'm sorry, but you're wrong. You just are. The grass is not greener over here.

  3. Yeah, I definitely think girls would do that.

    Once, at school, there was a bad smell in the locker area. Then a very bad smell. Then one day, we trooped through on the way to a class and the cleaners were mopping up stinky greenish-yellow liquid from the floor.

    It turned out that someone had left a bottle of milk in their locker at the end of term and not handed the key in, and when the jannies were investigating the smell, they managed to knock it over in opening the locker...

    Eurgh. This was a girls' school!

  4. My friend Beryl once found a slice of chocolate cake in her daughter's school bag. Funny, she thought. Why would she have chocolate cake and if she did, why didn't she eat it? Then she realised that it was a very very very old cheese sandwich.

  5. Absolutely girls do that too. There are exremely frightening things in the bottom of my daughter's school bag and under her bed. And there is no way in hell she would ever be seen in weather appropriate gear.

  6. It's probably pointless for me to chime in now, but I'll back up Jen and XUP and the rest and tell you, from experience, girls are just as bad. The things I've found in their school bags just don't bear thinking about.