I had some vegetable soup for lunch yesterday. (You're fascinated already, aren't you?) It was perfectly nice soup except....a couple of spoonfuls in, floating just under the surface...I found.......(deep breath)........celery. Please bear with me while I rant briefly.
What is the point of celery?????? It is bitter and stringy when raw. Foul and squishy when cooked. It taints everything it touches but confusingly it looks lovely. Shiny people in 70s american dramas who brought their shopping home in those brown paper bags always had celery peeking out of the top. There used to be a TV advert when I was small with a smiling wumman dunking it in peanut butter and munching deliriously and that looked FANTASTIC! I couldn't wait to try it and when I did? My lifelong love affair with peanut butter began and at one and the same time it was confirmed beyond all doubt that celery is just VILE.
There are lots of other things that are "acquired" tastes, things only grownups tend to like that I have persevered with and grown to like. Olives. Anchovies. Gin. Watching the news instead of cartoons (well maybe not that last one) But the attraction of celery eludes me. When I finally rule the world, make no mistake, celery will be outlawed.
Thank you. I feel better for having got that off my chest.